Trump decries ‘Fake Fiction’

The Don, getting ready to rant! Photo credit: Chris Schrier  CC BY-SA 2.0

Yes, you read that right. In his latest tweets, Donald Trump has taken to decrying ‘fake fiction’ in the media. And I, for one, am overjoyed, over the moon, over-my-hammy! (No, I am not sponsored by Denny’s.) Why, I hear you ask? Because, dear reader, it is this meagre blog, my own tiny corner of the internet, that has caused the Orange One to pop to his peel and spray a sticky stream of juicy invective across the twittersphere.

It seems that one of my blog followers, who shall remain anonymous, is also a White House staffer. This person (my new hero, by the way) showed the Trump my post about Signs of Alien Technology on ‘Oumuamua. Too impatient to read all five paragraphs of the post (he stopped at the word “‘Oumuamua”), Trump saw the word “aliens” and went into a rant about building a wall in space (paid for by his best-ever trade deal with the jade rabbits that the Chinese recently found living on the moon).

Ten minutes later, when Trump had exhausted himself to the point that other people could make themselves heard, the staffer explained the post was an April Fool’s joke. Trump, having just enough energy left to make his fingers work (the staffer had to hold the phone for him), sent off a 280-character broadside blaming ‘fake fiction’—and this very blog—for the refusal of Democrats to pay for his wall and, by extension, the current US government shutdown.

I am flabbergasted. The only thing I can think to say is, to quote He-Man, “I HAVE THE POWER!”